The Price of Honesty

It will cost you friends,

It will cost you family,

It will cost you someone you hold dear,

It will cost you a career,

It will cost you your community,

It will cost you your life.

You will gain your life,

You will gain the right community,

You will gain passion,

You will gain your partner in crime,

You will gain and find your family,

You will gain true friends.

You will lose what you do not need and deserve.

You will gain more than what you believe you deserve.

This is the price; the price of being honest.

Being honest to the people around you;

But most importantly to yourself.

There is so much to lose;

But there is much to gain by living in earnest.


For the past few weeks I’ve been reflecting on this word; honesty. One word that can affect us greatly in many aspects of our life.

Being honest with the people around you can be ostracising and lonely, this is true even if you are speaking from a place of love. It can hurt people because they may not see and understand where you are coming from; your reasons but it should not stop us from speaking truthfully. Not to speak truthfully to hurt another person but to shed light. However, in saying this there is also a time and place for us to speak in truthfully in love.

 

xox

 

 

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Problem Called Apathy

Problem Called Apathy

Say what you may,

We have a growing problem in the world we’re living in called apathy.

It is easy to find sympathy,

But it is difficult to find people who has empathy.

 

Finding myself walking with the living dead.

Blank stares passing by I cannot comprehend.

Souls trapped in the midst of the crowd,

Joining this crowd of apathy rather than stepping out and being loud.

 

One step will do,

One word will make do,

As long as you know,

Where you have to go.


 

This poem came about through my sheer frustration from standing in a crowd and seeing a scene play out in front of us and no one even moved to do anything about what was going on!

My initial thoughts were “surely someone would step forward and say something”. So I waited and waited, “someone say something!” but I was naive. I however, after a minute, came to a realisation that if no one else is willing to say something I had to step out and do it myself, I cannot wait for someone else. When I stepped out I was frustrated and nervous but it had to be done, I could no longer stand to be with that crowd.

I talked to the lady and tried to communicate with her to the best of my ability, I stood up and turned around hoping she understood. And as I turned around I was saddened by the fact that everyone was watching us two and after the crowd realised that I have turned around they all looked away and went back to their screens!

Apathy; a three syllable word, a word that we need to unlearn in our lives and be ever so aware off. I myself need to learn how to unlearn this for it is definitely something we need less off.

When the unexpected expected happens…

A Relaxing Day?

Your spending a day relaxing blissfully.

News arrives that the unexpected expected* incident has occurred and you don’t know what to do.

Suddenly, as the unexpected expected was still fresh on your mind you got a blow in the head coming from your blindside.

NOW, you really don’t know what to do next.

Your mind is rattled, you can’t think straight, a lump in your throat is forming and water is blurring your vision.

Your heart’s beating a million times per minute and yet you feel like time is at a slow crawl.

PULL BACK NOW!

PAUSE and think!

No need to cry at the moment, it can wait so; ANALYSE!

PRESS the eject button in your mind and look at your situation from the outside.

Imagine you are having an out of body experience.


I confess only a couple of hours ago was not thinking straight, one of life’s unexpected expected happened  and I was, to say the least, drowning in my own sea of emotion filled, immediate reaction, panic custard.

It was  an embarrassing display and unnecessary… Not to say that it was not justified or that anyone who is going through something like this at the present or when something like this happens that one is not allowed to show such emotions. But what I meant by this was, I reacted first before  I knew what was really going on. I jumped to a conclusion. I didn’t process it and jumped the gun, without thinking that it can “easily” be resolve it or there is still a possibility of a reasonable outcome; I went straight for the doomsday conclusion.

How many times can we say that we have done this; reacted first without looking at the whole picture? ( No need to give me an actual number 🙂 )

How many times did we think we cannot get through a certain situation but still came out strong afterwards?

How many times, how many times?!

What’s that old saying again?

“When life gives you lemons…..”

How are you going to react? There are so many ways to go about it! However, I believe the worst thing one could do in a situation like this is to do nothing.

So the next time life gives me or you lemons…

Here’s a few things I will (and hopefully you too) remember and consider:

  1. Be thankful for the lemons, it will do great in a pie. (YUM!)
  2. Don’t think about why but what you can do with the lemons.
  3. Look at your lemons from a distance, from a different perspective.
  4. Talk to a friend/ family member about it. Talking helps a lot.
  5. Perhaps make lemonade, this is very popular! (Did I mention I love lemonade?!)
  6. Oh, don’t throw the lemons back! You could hit someone, life isn’t really good at catch, I know from experience.
  7. And don’t throw it to someone else, like I said it could hit someone and that person could get hurt. We don’t want that.

Anyways, think about these things when you receive lemons… I certainly will!

 

 

* The unexpected expected event; when you think it will happen at a certain moment but didn’t and you thought that since it did not happen when you expected it, it therefore WILL NOT happen. BUT when you were not expecting it, it HAPPENED!

A Fresh New Year, Another Hope Filled Year

Hello and Goodbye

Goodbye, one word I can’t seem to say.

However for once a year, I’d gladly utter that word.

On that day, on New Year’s day.

Midnight; those words goodbye and hello I would speak.

Welcome, New Year.

Welcome, new friends.

New opportunities, I welcome you with open arms.

New adventures and experiences, I look forward with hope.


As we welcome this new year, 2016. Many of us would look back our year and what memories we made along the way…

Memories filled with joy, a dash of pain, a sprinkle of challenging situations, confusing moments, funny times, quiet tedious days and nights. However while we look back at those moments we need to remember a few things;

  1. Those are now only memories, they ARE the past.                                                            -We can only learn and glean from the past.
  2. Who we were in the past, we cannot change.                                                                       -Who we’ll be in our future is in our own hands.
  3. We made it through difficult times this year; times we didn’t think we could survive.                                                                                                                                  -Remember those difficult times and see how versatile and amazing you are.
  4. Look for breakthrough moments.                                                                                              -Those moments that surprised you, times that worked out for the better.

These few things I know, aren’t new ideas but they are worth remembering. Of course there are also other things I have forgotten to add to this list but oh well!

Signing out for 2015…

Akini.

Be kind, Happy New Year and God Bless!!!!

CHRISTmas!

One Small Present Tonight

Christmas? Presents, family, friends and food.

But hold on, don’t be fooled.

There’s so much more to this day than all this, dude!

It came as a small fragile gift worth way more than gold.


 

This Christmas let us not forget about the essence of Christmas in the midst of all the craziness; shopping for presents, food to be prepared for the next few days and our sometimes crazy family. It is in the name itself, Christmas, the child who came to our world to save us from our fallen lives.

No present we may receive in this world will ever amount to the present we received 2000 or so years ago. So while we go about our day, this 25th of December be reminded of what this day means for all of us.

“For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas everyone, stay safe and see y’all next year!

Innocent until proven guilty… Guilty as charged?

For the past few days I’ve been dwelling on the short, one syllable, 5 letter word guilt. For more or less two weeks I found myself tired from work and doing other things I enjoy such as sewing and catching up with friends and family that I realised that I haven’t written anything new such as a poem, a blog post or even a plan for Christmas.

After I realised that, I began feeling guilty! I couldn’t shake it off, I “made a commitment” to myself that I was going to write more often; concentrate on my poetry because I do not have resources to do music lessons at the moment. I was feeling guilty because in my mind the lie I told myself “I cannot commit to anything even though I love those things” so many months and years before has come back to haunt me. I began feeling like a failure my past failures came back and I was reminded of all the wrong things I’ve done, I will always fail at everything. Guilty of the lie and guilty at being useless.

___

I was reminded of what my mentor asked me a few months ago and what she told me about guilt. That we are not supposed to live in guilt because once we ask for forgiveness and God forgives us, we are not supposed to hang on to them. Our sins are washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ, our conscience should be cleansed. It does not mean our God forgets what we’ve done it’s that He will not bring it up and hold it against you. We are not condemned by it.

Then a few days ago I met up with a friend, we caught up talked about how we were doing and wondering what’s new in our lives etc… And while we were talking our conversation went on the topic of…. Surprise, Surprise; guilt. We talked ’bout the idea off guilt, where it was coming from in context of our conversation and I began recalling what I already knew but forgotten about guilt.

HOWEVER…

There are two sides to this guilt business and they are conviction and condemnation. Conviction is when we know through the Holy Spirit that we have done wrong in the eyes of God, we feel guilty, then allows us to find a solution; to ask for forgiveness (1 John 1:9) . Condemnation is when we feel guilty because it shows us all of our failures, sins and paralyses us away from any solution.

Conviction is allows us to live a life that God intends for us, while condemnation inhibits us to live.

Going back to my feelings of guilt on not writing more often, I felt guilty because that was what the enemy wanted me to feel; guilty an hopeless. NOT FOR LONG I SAY!  After my conversation with my friend that night, I realised that I was not feeling guilty because I’ve done something terribly wrong that I was convicted but I was feeling condemned. Coming to that realisation, I felt free and remembered that Jesus did not come to this world to condemn us but to save us (John 12:47).

From a distance

I’ve had (having) a couple of amazing few weeks and I’m pretty sure this will certainly continue for the rest of my life!

Why? Because of distance

From a distance

Two weeks ago I made a decision, one of the best decisions I’ve made so far. It had nothing to do with moving to a different place, money, work, finance or other people. It only had to do with me.

I made the decision to always step back, mentally distance myself and evaluate what I am feeling, why I am feeling a certain way and how I was interacting with other people and situations. To sum that up, I made sure to keep my attitude in check, always. 

At work, we have a notice board full of work related bits and pieces of paper and other things such as messages left by customers or other employees. And on this board there’s a quote written by Charles Swindoll entitled, ‘Attitude’. For the 9-10 months I’ve been working there, I noticed it but didn’t think much of it not until recently. I must have read it over 80 times for the past 2 months and have been reflecting on its message. Not until 3 weeks ago, it clicked for me, it made sense!

Attitude

After that moment, I made the decision to be in charge of my attitude. Since then, I have seen changes, I saw me for who I am, who I can be. I can see what I do and became more than ever, self aware. Also, I saw how my attitude can affect other people I work with and just around me in a positive way if I choose to have a good attitude towards situations and definitely in negative ways if I choose to react negatively.

To quote Charles Swindoll, “And so it is with you…”