The Price of Honesty

It will cost you friends,

It will cost you family,

It will cost you someone you hold dear,

It will cost you a career,

It will cost you your community,

It will cost you your life.

You will gain your life,

You will gain the right community,

You will gain passion,

You will gain your partner in crime,

You will gain and find your family,

You will gain true friends.

You will lose what you do not need and deserve.

You will gain more than what you believe you deserve.

This is the price; the price of being honest.

Being honest to the people around you;

But most importantly to yourself.

There is so much to lose;

But there is much to gain by living in earnest.

For the past few weeks I’ve been reflecting on this word; honesty. One word that can affect us greatly in many aspects of our life.

Being honest with the people around you can be ostracising and lonely, this is true even if you are speaking from a place of love. It can hurt people because they may not see and understand where you are coming from; your reasons but it should not stop us from speaking truthfully. Not to speak truthfully to hurt another person but to shed light. However, in saying this there is also a time and place for us to speak in truthfully in love.






Innocent until proven guilty… Guilty as charged?

For the past few days I’ve been dwelling on the short, one syllable, 5 letter word guilt. For more or less two weeks I found myself tired from work and doing other things I enjoy such as sewing and catching up with friends and family that I realised that I haven’t written anything new such as a poem, a blog post or even a plan for Christmas.

After I realised that, I began feeling guilty! I couldn’t shake it off, I “made a commitment” to myself that I was going to write more often; concentrate on my poetry because I do not have resources to do music lessons at the moment. I was feeling guilty because in my mind the lie I told myself “I cannot commit to anything even though I love those things” so many months and years before has come back to haunt me. I began feeling like a failure my past failures came back and I was reminded of all the wrong things I’ve done, I will always fail at everything. Guilty of the lie and guilty at being useless.


I was reminded of what my mentor asked me a few months ago and what she told me about guilt. That we are not supposed to live in guilt because once we ask for forgiveness and God forgives us, we are not supposed to hang on to them. Our sins are washed away by the blood of Jesus Christ, our conscience should be cleansed. It does not mean our God forgets what we’ve done it’s that He will not bring it up and hold it against you. We are not condemned by it.

Then a few days ago I met up with a friend, we caught up talked about how we were doing and wondering what’s new in our lives etc… And while we were talking our conversation went on the topic of…. Surprise, Surprise; guilt. We talked ’bout the idea off guilt, where it was coming from in context of our conversation and I began recalling what I already knew but forgotten about guilt.


There are two sides to this guilt business and they are conviction and condemnation. Conviction is when we know through the Holy Spirit that we have done wrong in the eyes of God, we feel guilty, then allows us to find a solution; to ask for forgiveness (1 John 1:9) . Condemnation is when we feel guilty because it shows us all of our failures, sins and paralyses us away from any solution.

Conviction is allows us to live a life that God intends for us, while condemnation inhibits us to live.

Going back to my feelings of guilt on not writing more often, I felt guilty because that was what the enemy wanted me to feel; guilty an hopeless. NOT FOR LONG I SAY!  After my conversation with my friend that night, I realised that I was not feeling guilty because I’ve done something terribly wrong that I was convicted but I was feeling condemned. Coming to that realisation, I felt free and remembered that Jesus did not come to this world to condemn us but to save us (John 12:47).

Reflect to discover, slow down to appreciate

I wrote the poem below one afternoon after work while a duo of buskers were playing such beautiful, beautiful music just outside our store. Their music broke through and said “hello!” I’ve heard that kind of music before but didn’t think too much of it until this afternoon. It was amazing how they broke through the noise and the busyness of life around them and brought so much joy and smiles to people as they walked by.

As I sat down and listened to the music, taking it all in. I was and am reminded of how our God created us with gifts and talents, such complex beings! How he made us and ingrained in us such talents within to create such beauty and on that afternoon it was music that turned my day around.

Another thought that came to me as I listened to their music was the importance of slowing down, appreciating and taking part to the world around us. Slowing down to appreciate the small things in life, we can always, I guarantee, always pause for at least a minute to be in the moment. We live in a fast paced environment, always going to places, doing things, meeting people. Always on the move!

We need to reflect on what you have, to realise what and who we’ve got, look around; clothes on our backs and shoes on feet. Food on our tables, family and friends that surround us. At times we don’t see and know what we have until they are gone so today and always remember for tomorrow; reflect to discover, slow down to appreciate.

An Air of Joy