Essence of loss


It is knowing presently there is a gaping whole within you.
It is knowing you can no longer make new memories together.
It is knowing you can no longer hear their voice.
        Speak to them and have a conversation
It is knowing you can no longer feel their touch.
Knowing you have to keep on living the life you both dreamt off.
It is knowing for that moment you’ll have to face the world alone.
It is knowing you can no longer grow old together.
Milestones you’d like to share to them and yet can’t.
However, it is also…
Reliving moments and knowing you had them .
It is being thankful you shared the most precious commodity of all:
It is sharing stories to others, the memories, laughter, lessons
         And dumb moves.
It is knowing they cared and loved you.
         Which is why for that moment you felt loss and keenly so.
Loss is natural, it may not be great but everyone has had and encounter with it.
It is neither good nor bad.
It just is.
Never easy…
But through loss we are reminded of what we have and can gain.
         Possibilities of what we can give.
         And leave when it is our time to be someone’s loss.

So with everyday you’ve got, make it count…

A Dance Would Do


I found this poem while I was going through note book after note book of drafts and scattered poems and I thought I might as well share some of them here and there in the coming months.

I wrote this last year around March, I think. I’m not too sure since the dates in one of the notebooks were so random ranging from 2011 – 2015 but best guess, March 2015!

I don’t think I wrote this for anyone in particular. I believe, I wrote this because during that time I was itching to go and dance a partner dance but no one was willing to go with me. So in my frustration rather than saying it or letting people know, I wrote down a poem and here it is.

Looking Through

Alternative Perspective

Hidden away,
Underneath a mask with every passing day.
Many will not discover what makes you sway.
Many won’t know what else to say.

Under that mask,
You have taken on such a heavy task.
Carrying all that baggage,
And your mask unknowingly showing its damage.

The mask creates a shield,
Many will see and to approach they will yield.
To relinquish its hold,
One must naive enough and bold.

When it has all fallen away,
Everything else will find its way.
However this must be a chosen narrative,
To perhaps view an alternative perspective.


Contemplating on the words; authenticity, honesty and genuine, has had an interesting impact on my life for the past year. It has taken me on such an adventure and continues to do so. This new adventure has allowed me to understand what those three words REALLY mean, what it means for me and what it means for the people around me…

When the unexpected expected happens…

A Relaxing Day?

Your spending a day relaxing blissfully.

News arrives that the unexpected expected* incident has occurred and you don’t know what to do.

Suddenly, as the unexpected expected was still fresh on your mind you got a blow in the head coming from your blindside.

NOW, you really don’t know what to do next.

Your mind is rattled, you can’t think straight, a lump in your throat is forming and water is blurring your vision.

Your heart’s beating a million times per minute and yet you feel like time is at a slow crawl.


PAUSE and think!

No need to cry at the moment, it can wait so; ANALYSE!

PRESS the eject button in your mind and look at your situation from the outside.

Imagine you are having an out of body experience.

I confess only a couple of hours ago was not thinking straight, one of life’s unexpected expected happened  and I was, to say the least, drowning in my own sea of emotion filled, immediate reaction, panic custard.

It was  an embarrassing display and unnecessary… Not to say that it was not justified or that anyone who is going through something like this at the present or when something like this happens that one is not allowed to show such emotions. But what I meant by this was, I reacted first before  I knew what was really going on. I jumped to a conclusion. I didn’t process it and jumped the gun, without thinking that it can “easily” be resolve it or there is still a possibility of a reasonable outcome; I went straight for the doomsday conclusion.

How many times can we say that we have done this; reacted first without looking at the whole picture? ( No need to give me an actual number 🙂 )

How many times did we think we cannot get through a certain situation but still came out strong afterwards?

How many times, how many times?!

What’s that old saying again?

“When life gives you lemons…..”

How are you going to react? There are so many ways to go about it! However, I believe the worst thing one could do in a situation like this is to do nothing.

So the next time life gives me or you lemons…

Here’s a few things I will (and hopefully you too) remember and consider:

  1. Be thankful for the lemons, it will do great in a pie. (YUM!)
  2. Don’t think about why but what you can do with the lemons.
  3. Look at your lemons from a distance, from a different perspective.
  4. Talk to a friend/ family member about it. Talking helps a lot.
  5. Perhaps make lemonade, this is very popular! (Did I mention I love lemonade?!)
  6. Oh, don’t throw the lemons back! You could hit someone, life isn’t really good at catch, I know from experience.
  7. And don’t throw it to someone else, like I said it could hit someone and that person could get hurt. We don’t want that.

Anyways, think about these things when you receive lemons… I certainly will!



* The unexpected expected event; when you think it will happen at a certain moment but didn’t and you thought that since it did not happen when you expected it, it therefore WILL NOT happen. BUT when you were not expecting it, it HAPPENED!